


the adventures of adults who aren't all that cool and children who need better role models

by grey_0_green



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: I apologise, M/M, Modern AU, Original Character(s), an attempt at humor, chatfic, everybody lives au, family au, i guess??, i make a lot of questionable jokes, i'm. so so sorry, just try and stop me, kind of?, listen i don't really know, since they have phones and everything, there are so many children, there's literally no plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-15 15:56:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17531765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grey_0_green/pseuds/grey_0_green
Summary: yue:i won’t suck your dick if you keep flirting with eijising:i wasn’t flirting!!!! eiji is my lifelong broash:He’s your lifelong nothingash:He’s MY lifelong partner so you better stop making moves on himsing:No Moves Were Made





	the adventures of adults who aren't all that cool and children who need better role models

**Author's Note:**

> this is dedicated to the wonderful edie!! thank u so much for the idea my lovely and!! i hope you enjoy omg i'm. so sorry
> 
> this is a total disaster and i'm Literally The Worst so here's a quick rundown of the various children n their ages cause i'm Lazy:
> 
> \- lei is 16! she's sing + yut lung's daughter  
> \- bao is 7! he's sing + yut lung's son but bc he's,,, 7 he's too young to be like. texting n shit so he only has a very brief mention in this chapter  
> \- elliot is 15! he's ash + eiji's son  
> \- ayaka is 13! she's ash + eiji's daughter  
> \- guy is 14! he's shorter's illegitimate son uh Whoops  
> \- brandon is 25! he's nadia + charlie's son
> 
> hh i'm sorry this is gonna b a mess but i'm really hoping u laugh at my dumb jokes!! i Promise there's gonna b actual writing next chapter but this entire chapter is just them being stupid i'm so sorry
> 
> i don't know how regularly this is going to update?? but i do plan on continuing despite the lack of plot omg this is a mess

**Monday, 4:17 p.m.**

 

 **sing** _has added_ **yue** _to the chat._

 **sing** _has added_ **ash** _to the chat._

 **sing** _has added_ **eiji** _to the chat._

 **sing** _has added_ **shorter** _to the chat._

 **ash:** Why

 **sing:** just because

 **sing** _has named the conversation_ **cool adults**.

 **yue:** eww what the fuck

 **sing:** shut up

 **ash:** No I agree with him that’s an awful name

 **shorter:** i wanna leave

 **sing:** you can’t leave

 **shorter** _has left the chat._

 **sing** _has added_ **shorter** _to the chat._

 **sing:** what did i just fucking say bitch

 **eiji:** Sing, why have you done this?

 **sing:** just because babey!

 **ash:** Don’t flirt with my husband

 **ash:** I will destroy you

 **yue:** i won’t suck your dick if you keep flirting with eiji

 **sing:** i wasn’t flirting!!!! eiji is my lifelong bro

 **ash:** He’s your lifelong nothing

 **ash:** He’s MY lifelong partner so you better stop making moves on him

 **sing:** No Moves Were Made

 **sing:** there’s only one man for me

 **yue:** if my name isn’t the next thing you say i won’t suck your dick for a MONTH

 **sing:** bones

 **yue** _has left the chat._

 **sing:** the love of my life has abandoned me

 **sing:** why has god forsaken me in this way

 **eiji:** I am here for you, Sing (*^▽^*)

 **ash:** Eiji what the fuck

 **eiji:** ♡✧( ु•⌄• )

 **shorter:** that’s a Man right there

 **sing** _has added_ **yue** _to the chat._

 **ash:** I hate this chat 

 **sing:** D:

 **ash:** Everyone keeps making moves on Eiji I don’t like this

 **yue:** i’m not

 **ash:** That’s because you have terrible taste

 **sing** _has removed_ **eiji** _from the chat._

 **sing:** problem solved

 **ash:** What’s the point of being here if Eiji isn’t

 **shorter:** you’re gonna make me vomit 

 **eiji** _added_ **eiji** _to the chat._  

 **sing:** what the fuck

 **shorter:** H O W

 **eiji:** I am back! p(*＾-＾*)q

 **yue:** hHH WHAT

 **ash:** I Love You

 **eiji:** (°◡°♡).:｡

 **sing:** HOW TH E FCUK DDID YOU DO THAT

 **eiji:** Ash is not the only one who is able to hack computers 

 **eiji:** Do not underestimate me <(｀^´)> 

 **ash:** Please bear my children

 **eiji:** We have two already (*˙︶˙*)☆*°

 **shorter:** i feel like i’m intruding on a private moment

 **ash:** You are

 **sing:** there are no private moments in this chat 

 **sing:** we are a brotherhood. there are no secrets among us

 **shorter:** i didn’t know brothers were allowed to fuck each other

 **sing:** clearly you know nothing about the world 

 **yue:** this is an Uglie topic 

 **sing:** wdym

 **sing:** are you not enjoying our lighthearted incest banter?

 **shorter:** why did you have to phrase it like that 

 **sing:** is that not what it was

 **ash:** Mad nasty

 **yue:** hAHAH WHAT

 **sing:** ewww this gc can no longer be called cool adults

 **sing** _changed the group name to_ **brothers who fuck**.

 **shorter:** end my suffering

 **ash:** I’m sorry. I was trying something new

 **eiji:** Please do not (っ- ‸ – ς)

 **sing:** ^^

 **yue:** yeah that was gross as fuck

 **ash:** Shut up ugly bitch

 **ash:** I’ll kill you

 **shorter:** hey hey let’s all calm down

 **yue:** kill yourself shorter

 **shorter:** wow what the fuck 

 **sing:** don’t bully shorter

 **shorter:** yeah

 **shorter:** thanks for defending me 

 **sing:** that’s what bros do

 **yue:** why are being so straight 

 **yue:** this isn’t the man i married

 **sing:** tops are straight passing don’t blame me for my faults

 **ash:** …

 **eiji:** It’s true

 **ash:** EIJI 

 **eiji:** What? (◎-◎；)

 **yue:** dskdjSDJKS

 **ash:** Shut up twink

 **yue:** bitch

 **yue:** i’m not the only bottom in this chat

 **ash:** I’m the superior bottom

 **yue:** say that to my face 

 **sing:** hey guys 

 **sing:** all bottoms are valid 

 **eiji:** Yes 

 **shorter** _has_   _sent an image._

 **shorter:** guess who’s getting laid tonight??

 **ash:** I wonder what it’s like for Guy knowing that his dad’s a slut 

 **sing:** i wonder what it’s like for guy knowing his dad gave him a name like guy

 **shorter:** i stand by my decision

 **shorter:** guy is the BEST name and i won’t stand for this slander. and neither will he

 **eiji:** I do not know if he likes his name (-︵-)

 **yue:** who the fuck would like the name “guy”

 **sing:** i mean,,,, guy fieri doesn’t seem to be having any problems with it

 **shorter:** exactly!!!! who wouldn’t want to share a name with an icon like that

 **ash:** How high were you when you decided what to name him

 **shorter:** dude i was coked up to my eyeballs

 **yue:** a little irresponsible if you ask me

 **ash:** A bold statement coming from someone who was an alcoholic at sixteen but okay 

 **yue:** i walked into that one didn’t i 

 **sing:** you really did

 **shorter** _has left the chat._

 **sing:** hey Why

 **ash:** He said “i don’t want notifs from a chat called “brothers who fuck” popping up on my phone while i’m trying to get laid”

 **sing:** what the fuck

 **yue:** valid

 **sing:** uh bitch??? how about do not disturb??? i’m Hurt

 **eiji:** Perhaps what they say about “bros before hoes” does not apply in this situation 

 **yue:** DJKSSDKJS

 **sing:** HAHA YOU’RE RIGHT

 **ash:** EIJI MARRY ME AGAIN

 **ash** _changed_ **eiji** _’s name to_ **Love of my life!!!!**

 **Love of my life!!!!:** ٩(♡ε♡ )۶

 **yue:** why aren’t we like that

 **sing:** our love has been made a mockery by you guys

 **sing:** aspiring to have a love as beautiful as ash and eiji’s is like aspiring to kill god

 **yue:** you two make all other soulmates look like watery ice cream

 **yue:** it’s gross n makes me wanna vomit

 **Love of my life!!!!:** Be quiet Yau-Si! /(`o´)/

 **ash:** No one can love anyone as much as I love Eiji. Don’t even fuck with me on this 

 **Love of my life!!!!:** ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡ 

 **sing:** nah he’s right u guys are gross 

 **ash:** You’re just bitter 

 **sing:** sorry Incorrect i love my husband i’m just less gross about it

 **yue:** yeah fuck you guys

 **yue:** we don’t have to be gross in front of other people

 **sing:** that’s right. we can be gross in Private

 **ash:** Ew

 **yue:** shut up dirty bitch that’s not what he meant

 **sing:** get ur mind out of the gutter 

 **ash:** i’m gonna rip your ugly wig off you fucking whore 

 **sing:** don’t talk to my husband like that!!!!!!!

 **ash:** I miss Shorter 

 **yue** _has changed_ **Love of my life!!!!** _'s screen name to_ **love of my life**.

 **yue:** it looked ugly like that 

 **ash:** You look ugly like that

 **love of my life** _added_ **shorter** _to the chat._

 **ash:** Shorter!!!!! 

 **sing:** PURE 

 **shorter:** bad time guys

 **shorter:** unless y’all got a condom 

 **sing:** gross 

 **ash:** Hm. I agree 

 **love of my life** _has removed_ **shorter** _from the chat._  

 **yue:** he’ll be back

 **sing:** yeah ://

 

**Tuesday, 8:49 p.m.**

 

 **leilei** _has added_ **man** _to the chat._

 **leilei** _has added_ **elliot** _to the chat._  

 **leilei** _has added_ **ayaka** _to the chat._

 **leilei** _has added_ **brandon** _to the chat._  

 **elliot:** This really isn’t something I needed in my life

 **elliot** _has changed_ **leilei** _’s screen name to_ **lei lei pons**.

 **lei lei pons** _has removed_ **elliot** _from the chat._

 **brandon:** Why did you add me to this

 **lei lei pons:** because i wanted to 

 **brandon:** I’m 25

 **lei lei pons:** are twenty five year olds not allowed to be added to groupchats

 **lei lei pons:** i don’t see your point right now

 **man** _has added_ **elliot** _to the chat._

 **brandon:** You guys are teenagers. It looks weird if I’m the only adult 

 **brandon:** I also have better things to do than talk to some kids on shitty group chat 

 **man:** excuse me

 **man:** watch your language 

 **man:** don’t you know there are children here

 **elliot:** We all know that isn’t true Brandon

 **elliot:** You’ve got big virgin energy

 **brandon:** Wtf I meant that I have a job

 **ayaka:** I’m not a child

 **man:** i was talking about me

 **elliot:** You still have big virgin energy 

 **elliot:** Ayaka you’re literally 10 but go off I guess 

 **ayaka:** I’m 13 shut up (๑･`▱´･๑) 

 **lei lei pons:** hey why don’t we all try to get along 

 **brandon** _has left the chat._

 **lei lei pons** _has added_ **brandon** _to the chat._

 **lei lei pons:** you’re literally not allowed to leave

 **man:** why won’t you love us

 **brandon:** I’m an adult

 **man:** i don’t understand how that stops you from engaging in conversation with us 

 **elliot:** He’s just bitter bc his only friends are teenagers

 **lei lei pons:** yowch

 **brandon:**...  

 **ayaka:** I think you hurt his feelings

 **man:** well. in his words

 **man:** he’s an adult 

 **man:** pretty sure he can handle it

 **brandon:** My feelings aren’t hurt

 **brandon:** That was just a low blow and I expected better of you

 **elliot:** Bold of you to assume I have any sense of shame or regret

 **elliot:** Eggs dee

 **brandon:** What

 **brandon:** Oh

 **man:** uh NOOB

 **elliot:** LOLOLOL

 **brandon:** Kill yourself

 **man:** I Will Not

 **elliot:** This is harassment 

 **elliot:** We’re children you can’t say that to us

 **brandon** _has left the chat._

 **ayaka:** Lei don’t add him back

 **ayaka:** He’s just gonna bully us again

 **lei lei pons** _has added_ **brandon** _to the chat._

 **lei lei pons:** don’t tell me what to do

 **ayaka:** D: 

 **lei lei pons:** i’m just kidding i love u ～(^з^)-♡

 **ayaka:** ( •ॢ◡-ॢ)-♡ 

 **brandon:** Please let me leave

 **lei lei pons:** no 

 **lei lei pons:** you will suffer here for all of eternity 

 **brandon:** What have I done to deserve this

 **man:** cursed us with your presence irl

 **elliot:** Yeah shut up Brandon

 **elliot:** You’ll leave when we say you can leave 

 **brandon:** I’m being bullied by teenagers

 **lei lei pons:** stand up for yourself

 **man:** fucking ginger bitch

 **brandon:** I DIDN’T CHOOSE THIS 

 **brandon:** SHUT UP 

 **elliot:** Oh shit

 **elliot:** The straw that broke the camel’s back 

 **brandon** _has left the chat_.

 **lei lei pons:** SJDKSDK GUY WHY DID YOU SAY THAT 

 **man:** No Ragerts

 **elliot** _has named the chat_ **Bully Brandon More**.

 **lei lei pons** _has added_ **brandon** _to the chat._  

 **brandon:** I don’t want to be a part of this 

 **ayaka:** I’m sorry Brandon we love you I promise

 **brandon:** End my suffering 

 **brandon:** Please 

 **man** _changed_ **brandon** _'_ _s screen name to_ **ginger bitch**.

 **ginger bitch:** Please. Please stop 

 **elliot:** You ok buddy?

 **lei lei pons:** i don’t think he’s fully accepted his identity yet 

 **man:** you mean his identity as a ginger bitch

 **lei lei pons:** we don’t discriminate in this chat

 **elliot:** Says who

 **elliot:** I’ll bully whoever I want 

 **lei lei pons:** says me

 **lei lei pons:** i’ll beat your ass if you don’t listen 

 **elliot:** Ok sorry 

 **elliot:** I will be quiet now

 **lei lei pons:** thank you 

 **man:** when ur a dom 

 **lei lei pons:** Maybe So 

 **ayaka:** A what

 **lei lei pons:** he’s just talking about domino’s

 **ayaka:** ( ・◇・)？ 

 **lei lei pons:** nslksdkl guy Why

 **man:** My Bad 

 **ginger bitch:** You guys are literal children 

 **ginger bitch:** I’m begging you please let me leave 

 **man:** why are you so focused on the fact that you’re an adult

 **man:** age is just a number babey 

 **lei lei pons:** hm. i don’t think that’s how it works

 **elliot:** He’s just pissed bc we’re cooler than him and he’s older than us

 **elliot:** The only thing he has over us is the fact that he’s an adult

 **ginger bitch:** …

 **man:** oh Shit? 

 **ginger bitch:** Why are teenagers so mean

 **elliot:** Again with the age 

 **elliot:** Dude, give it a rest

 **man:** holy shit man

 **man:** take the L

 **ginger bitch:** Fuck you 

 **ginger bitch:** The L has been taken 

 **elliot:** That’s right

 **elliot:** Suck my dick bitch ass white boy

 **ginger bitch:** First of all 

 **ginger bitch:** No thanks

 **ginger bitch:** Second of all

 **ginger bitch:** You’re just as white as I am

 **elliot:** Ah but you’re a ginger

 **elliot:** That makes you whiter 

 **man:** he right 

 **lei lei pons:** oh my god you’re literally a ginger asian

 **man:** HAHA HOLY SHIT 

 **elliot:** Is this another L

 **ginger bitch:** I’m gonna dye my hair and then you won’t be able to call me a ginger

 **man:** still a ginger at heart babey 

 **elliot:** Nothing can change that son

 **lei lei pons:** Noah Fence but it’s a lil embarrassing that you’re willing to dye your hair so a couple of teenagers won’t bully you for it anymore

 **elliot:** Oh shit

 **man:** bro why is your life just one massive L 

 **ginger bitch:** You’re not the only ones who bully me so actually it’s NOT that embarrassing

 **ayaka:** Brandon are you okay? (゜。゜)

 **man:** bro ngl

 **man:** that sentence is a cry for help

 **lei lei pons:** yeah i 

 **lei lei pons:** i was gonna say 

 **ginger bitch** _changed their screen name to_ **brandon**.

 **brandon** _has left the chat_.

 **lei lei pons:** i think we should let him wallow for a bit before adding him back

 **man:** give him time to recover before we go in for the kill

 **elliot:** Oh my god guys I just thought of a really good joke

 **ayaka:** No you didn’t

 **elliot:** Shut up stupid child 

 **elliot** _has removed_ **ayaka** _from the chat._

 **elliot** _changed_ **man** _’s screen name to_ **Man’s not hot**.

 **lei lei pons:** hahahahahahaha 

 **Man’s not hot:** we have a comedic genius in our midsts

 **elliot:** I don’t think this is being appreciated as much as it deserves to be

 **lei lei pons:** what makes you say that

 **lei lei pons:** were my hahahahs not enough for you

 **elliot:** I’m gonna come to your house and take a shit on your pillow

 **elliot:** You don’t deserve my comedy

 **Man’s not hot:** bruh

 **lei lei pons:** hm. i don’t like that

 **elliot:** Shut up Ms Bitch

 **elliot:** My shit is a privilege

 **elliot:** That’s me calling u a bitch but respectfully

 **lei lei pons:** thank you. i’m forever grateful

 **elliot** _has added_ **brandon** _to the chat._

 **elliot:** Appreciate my comedy

 **brandon:** What are you talking about

 **Man’s not hot:** i. i am the comedy

 **brandon:** …

 **lei lei pons:** i’m not really sure what you expected

 **elliot:** Whatever we all know Brandon has a shit sense of humor anyway

 **brandon:** I’m gonna put bleach in your red bull

 **brandon:** It’ll still taste like ass so you won’t even know the difference

 **elliot:** Hey what the fuck

 **elliot:** Red bull is so good

 **Man’s not hot:** who said ass can’t taste good

 **lei lei pons:** JKDSSJKD NOOOO

 **elliot:** Fucking nasty dude

 **lei lei pons:** i’m uncomfortable

 **brandon:** Oh god why

 **brandon:** Please have mercy

 **brandon:** Please have mercy and drag me into the depths of hell

 **brandon:** Nothing can compare to this

 **brandon:** Why am I still trapped in this miserable existence 

 **lei lei pons:** when guy says one (1) questionable thing and suddenly you’re holding a noose

 **elliot:** Hahahahaha

 **lei lei pons:** ewwww why are you so straight. laugh properly bitch

 **Man’s not hot:** LMAO

 **elliot:** Is this oppression

 **lei lei pons:** yeah. go fuck yourself you straight piece of shit

 **elliot:** I’ll just go kill myself now

 **Man’s not hot** _has renamed the chat_ **suicide squad**.

 **elliot:** Nooooo 

 **brandon** _has left the chat._  

 **lei lei pons** _has added_ **ayaka** _to the chat._

 **ayaka:** Why did you guys exclude me for so long? s(・｀ヘ´・;)ゞ

 **Man’s not hot:** we were talking about grown up stuff

 **ayaka:** YOU’RE ONLY A YEAR OLDER THAN I AM 

 **elliot:** Oh shit

 **elliot:** She snapped 

 **lei lei pons:** the Beast has been Unleashed

 **Man’s not hot:** wtf really? i thought you were ten

 **lei lei pons:** guy u better watch ur step rn

 **ayaka:** PUSSY ASS BITCH (╬ ‾᷅皿‾᷄ ╬)

 **ayaka:** I’LL BURN OFF YOUR DISGUSTING RATSTACHE (๑‾᷆д‾᷇๑) 

 **elliot:** Holy shit

 **lei lei pons:** hey!!!!! where did you learn that!!!!!!!!!

 **ayaka:** I’M 13 NOT 10 (Ò 皿 Ó ╬)

 **Man’s not hot:** damn ok

 **Man’s not hot:** u better not

 **Man’s not hot:** matilda is here to stay babey 

 **elliot:** You named it Matilda??????

 **Man’s not hot:** damn right i did

 **lei lei pons:** i support that in full

 **Man’s not hot:** thank you lei

 **elliot:** Nah bro it’s ugly

 **Man’s not hot:** it’s a stepping stone to manhood 

 **Man’s not hot:** why can’t you support me

 **elliot:** You look gross as fuck 

 **elliot:** It looks like something died on your upper lip 

 **ayaka:** You look nasty with it and I will burn it ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ 

 **Man’s not hot:** wtf guys

 **Man’s not hot:** lei back me up

 **lei lei pons:** ,,,,

 **Man’s not hot:** wtf

 **lei lei pons:** I Comment Not

 **Man’s not hot** _has added_ **brandon** _to the chat._

 **Man’s not hot:** yo brandon

 **brandon:** What

 **Man’s not hot:** matilda - opinions?

 **brandon:** Who the fuck is Matilda

 **Man’s not hot:** the sexy boy on my upper lip

 **brandon:** Ew 

 **brandon:** You need to learn how to shave

 **ayaka:** HAHA I TOLD YOU ⤴︎ ε=ε=(ง ˃̶͈̀ᗨ˂̶͈́)۶ ⤴︎

 **Man’s not hot:** D:

 **Man’s not hot:** the whole world is against me

 **elliot:** He right 

 **elliot:** Shave it bro

 **Man’s not hot:** but maybe i just need one person

 **lei lei pons:** you have no one. i’m begging you please shave it

 **Man’s not hot:** all i need is matilda

 **Man’s not hot:** we’ll get through this together

 **lei lei pons:** i’ll kill her

 **elliot:** Dude you gotta do it

 **Man’s not hot:** i won’t conform to societal norms

 **Man’s not hot:** fuck y’all

 **Man’s not hot** _has left the chat._  

**elliot: f**

**elliot:** f

 **elliot:** f

 **elliot:** Can we bring him back

 **lei lei pons:** he needs time ;(( 

 **elliot:** I’m gonna bring him back

 **elliot** _has added_ **Man’s not hot** _to the chat._

 **Man’s not hot:** are you ready to apologize 

 **lei lei pons:** you can’t run from the truth guy

 **Man’s not hot:** i’ll have you know i was once told i can do whatever i put my mind to 

 **elliot:** What kind of dumbass told you that

 **Man’s not hot:** idk i saw it on a tv show 

 **Man’s not hot:** why are y’alls minds so closed 

 **lei lei pons:** i believe in you guy

 **Man’s not hot:** thank you lei

 **Man’s not hot:** your support is appreciated

 **lei lei pons:** i will Always be here ;((

 

 **brothers who fuck**  

**Wednesday, 11:26 p.m.**

 

 **yue:** comew ovr were drunka nd wa nt compny

 **sing:** i am very sober

 **ash:** No thanks

 **ash:** We’re not up for a foursome 

 **yue:**  noOOOO 

 **ash:** Don’t act like this is the first time you’ve wanted one

 **love of my life:** You didn’t even ask me first Ash! (╬ Ò ‸ Ó) 

 **ash:** Eiji what the fuck 

 **yue:** HTAT WS A LONG TIME A GO

 **love of my life:** （‐＾▽＾‐） 

 **sing:** i’m the only one allowed to have sex with him

 **ash:** And we appreciate you taking one for the team

 **ash:** I hope we can keep it that way

 **love of my life:** ＼(;´□｀)/

 **ash:** I don’t like to share

 **love of my life:** (⋈◍＞◡＜◍)。✧♡

 **sing** _has added_ **shorter** _to the chat._

 **shorter:** i’m back babey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **sing:** hell yeah you are  

 **sing:** my man 

 **yue:** shorter im’ sognna kl uou 

 **yue:** dont ‘toucs sing illm ehes MinE 

 **shorter:** don’t worry man we’re just bros

 **sing:** damn. thought we were gonna make this a fivesome

 **ash:** I already vetoed that

 **yue:** why NTO

 **sing:** you’re drunk

 **yue:** so are you!!!!1!!!!!11!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!1!!!

 **sing:** no

 **sing:** you’re a lightweight. i can hold my liquor

 **yue:** imgnona kill uou

 **sing:** guys please come over

 **yue:** yYyEAH

 **ash:** Why 

 **sing:** i can’t deal with him on my own 

 **yue:** suh t Up

 **yue:** plse come signn is bein a BIXHC

 **sing:** i’m begging you. please

 **shorter:** what’s the verdict my dudes

 **love of my life:** We should go, Ash! Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

 **ash:** Why am I so weak for your dumb emote faces

 **love of my life:**!(•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

 **love of my life:** We are coming, Sing!

 **shorter:** fuck yeah

 **shorter:** the Sexy Gang reunites

 **sing:** oh thank god

 **yue** _has sent a video._

 **shorter:** i CANDT ABREATHE 

 **love of my life:** Ash is crying on the floor now

 **love of my life:** His cheeks are very wet (˃̵ᴗ˂̵ ๑)

 **yue:** ic wenrhe is the amidb

 **shorter:** SOMEONE HEIMLICH ME

 **sing:** MY STOMACH HURTS

 **ash:** I’M CRYING

 **love of my life:** Is Yau Si okay???? [ ∗ ◕ □ ◕ ∗ ]

 **sing:** SKJD HE’S FINE JUST DRUNKA ND STUPID

 **ash:** THOSE SCREAMS

 **shorter:** FUCKIGN

 **shorter:** INHUMAN

 **shorter:** I’M GONNA PASS OUT I LITERALLY CAN’T BREATHE

 **sing:** i’ll give u mouth to mouth bro

 **yue** _has sent a video._

 **shorter:** HAHAHHAHAHA SING 

 **shorter:** YUE WHAT THE FUCK

 **ash:** DEAR GOD

 **ash:** MY EYES 

 **ash:** EIJI 

 **ash:** YOUR EYES 

 **ash:** I’M GONAN CRY 

 **shorter:** did we just get group sexted by yut lung

 **love of my life:** I have seen much worse (눈_눈)

 **sing:** JESUS FUCK

 **sing:** FUCKNG CHRSIT I’M SORRY OKAY 

 **sing:** I WON’T DO IT AGAIN

 **sing:** OUR CHILDREN ARE SLEEPING LOWER YOUR FUCKING VOICE 

 **sing:** PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PUT ON YOUR FUCKING PANTS 

 **yue:** IADLAJS FUVKBGIN KSISLL BSDOYOU SBIGHC

 **love of my life** _has sent an image._  

 **sing:** dfjKDHJS ASH

 **shorter:** bro are you okay

 **love of my life:** Ash you are going to get the floor wet 〴⋋_⋌〵 

 **ash:** SUDDELNTTLY I AHVE ASTHMA

 **yue:** srrrry to e b nsfw gsuuys 

 **ash:** I want to never see that again but also I can’t breathe

 **love of my life:** We are here now! ( •⌄• ू )✧

 **ash:** Still not up for a foursome. Just so you know

 **yue:** IT ASW A FlgonG DTIEM AGO 

 **shorter:** yoooo did someone say foursome???

 **sing:** sorry bro you aren’t invited

 **shorter:** why not :(( i thought this was brothers who fuck :(((

 **sing:** i’m sorry man that’s just the way things are

 **ash:** We’re not having a foursome 

 **ash:** Or a fivesome

 **sing:** D:

 **love of my life:** ໒( •́ ∧ •̀ )७ 

 **shorter:** :(( 

 **yue:** what t he fcuuck,,, wh y do  u alw ant this

 **ash:** Hm. I agree

 **ash:** Did I play myself?

 **ash:** And can you guys let us in please

 **sing:** i’m coming

 **sing:** shorter are you gonna b here

 **shorter:** hell yeah i am

 **shorter:** gimme two mins

 **sing:** FUCK yes

**suicide squad**

**Wednesday, 11:45 p.m.**

 

 **lei lei pons:** lmao dad is drunk as FUCK 

 **elliot:** Which one? 

 **lei lei pons:** why do you even need to ask

 **Man’s not hot:** LOL

 **elliot:** That’s a valid point 

 **lei lei pons:** he just screamed really loud

 **elliot:** Someone is crying downstairs

 **elliot:** Yooo I think your dads just kidnapped our parents 

 **Man’s not hot:** bro dad just left too 

 **Man’s not hot:** is this a Gathering? 

 **lei lei pons:** oh my god

 **lei lei pons:** it’s gonna be So loud

 **lei lei pons:** baobao is asleep they’re gonna wake him up

 **man:** should we make this a family reunion boys?

 **lei lei pons:** hm i think maybe let’s not do that in case things get. Wild

 **elliot:** Ew

 **lei lei pons:** look not to be nsfw but i’ve heard the word fivesome like three times already

 **Man’s not hot:** i don’t like that

 **lei lei pons:** oh shit guy your dad just came in

 **lei lei pons:** he just said “yo I’m here for the fivesome”

 **Man’s not hot:** Dear God Why 

 **elliot:** My parents would never

 **lei lei pons:** are you sure about that

 **elliot:** Yes and you can’t change my mind

 **Man’s not hot:** lmao my dad would he’s such a whore

 **lei lei pons:** ,,, i Mean

 **Man’s not hot:** it’s okay you can say it

 **lei lei pons:** he’s a lil Promiscuous but it’s okay he’s still cool

 **elliot:** Please let us come over

 **lei lei pons:** is ayaka asleep already?? 

 **elliot:** Yh

 **lei lei pons:** u n guy can come but b quiet and come in thru the back door

 **Man’s not hot:** FUCK yes

 **Man’s not hot:** it’s bouta get lit as fuck in there

 **lei lei pons:** we can laugh at our drunk dads together!! 

 **elliot:** Hell yeah

 **elliot:** We’ll be there in ten

 **lei lei pons:** i Await

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are lovely!! come talk to me on [tumblr](https://grey-x-green.tumblr.com/)!! and!! i Now Have A [Twitter](https://twitter.com/grey_x_green) so you can talk to me there now too!!


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